Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Higgledy-Piggledy, Take III

It sure seems like work is crazier than ever. And it also seems like I keep saying that over and over. But it is! And when I am done with work, I am just…done. I have exactly 100 unread emails in my personal inbox. I have 295 unread items in my Google Reader. And, now that I think of it, I may have even forgot to pay my bills. Oh $#@%! I guess I should go check that!


*****

Speaking of work, some crazy changes are about to take place within the next month. It’s going to be rough. I am trying to go forward with a good attitude and trust in my colleagues and my boss. I am praying that everything will work out just fine. Only time will tell. I really wish I could share more. Believe me, I do. The more I talk about something that is bothering me, usually, the better I feel. But I do not feel this is the appropriate place to discuss such matters. I will say, however, that my work schedule will change a smidge. This Night Owl will have to become much more of an early bird than ever before. Ever! (Well, except when I work in road construction, but that was a fairly mindless job.) That is a daunting concept for me, but I have to do it.

*****


In other news, people have been coming out of the woodwork on Facebook. I mean, holy bajeebers. In the last two weeks, I have had several people from high school befriend me. It’s weird. Most of them I haven’t spoken to since graduation (um, nearly thirteen years ago…omg!). A couple people I have seen, maybe, once or twice. To say the least, high school was my least favorite time in life. Hence the reason I have never sought anyone out. But, people grow up and change so it might be fun to reconnect.

*****


This past Friday, I had the pleasure of meeting up with a group of ladies from work for dinner and drinks. This, for me, was a giant step forward. Part of the town-left-behind excursion was to be able to make new friends and actually be able to hang out with them by being closer in proximity. We shared a few good laughs and great conversation. It was nice to finally be able to interact with a group of individuals who are intelligent, sophisticated, and share a number of the same interests. Now, don’t misunderstand. I have a number of individual friends (many who live far, far away though) who have all these same qualities. I have always been ok with one on one communication and relationships. When you add more to the mix, I get uncomfortable. Part of codependency includes difficulty in making friends and some severe distrust issues. Even with friends one on one, I still have some serious issues. So, I think, this was a big step forward for me.

*****


My nasty rash is also back. Or, never really went away. I was finally able to schedule another doctor’s appointment for tomorrow. It has taken me all week to schedule an appointment. Most of the time I forget to do it, then, when I remember, the office phone hours are over. Alas, I was finally able to make an appointment. Hopefully, my doctor will be able to determine what is really going on so it will go away for good!

*****


I have been pondering something very serious lately. Hehe. Very serious. Ahem, ok, it really isn’t a laughing matter. My Friend and I were having a discussion about forever. As in, being together forever type thing. A while back, a number of folks on Facebook answered a quiz to see how well they know me. One question asked, “What am I scared of?” One of the false answers was commitment. To my surprise, a number of people actually picked this for their answer and that bothered me a great deal. I never viewed myself as being afraid of commitment. I’ve always wanted a fully committed relationship. However, as My Friend and I discussed this forever thing, it came back to me. My counselor was always saying that I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And after my last decade of failed relationships, I am not sure I ever care to be married again. So, in essence, that makes me afraid of commitment, doesn’t it?

This brings me to another thought. I have always wondered how people know that they have met The One. You know, the one person that they know they are going to spend the rest of their entire life with. I have had many people say that you just know. Being the skeptic that I am, I fear I will never just know. So I wonder, for those of you out that that have met The One, how did you know? Because I am still waiting for the inevitable (in my mind) shoe to drop.

2 comments:

  1. I didn't just know. I think that's a lie. Maybe not for everyone, some people probably just know, but they spread it around like it's true for everyone, and it's not.

    When I very first met Mike, I had this thought that he could maybe be the one. But then I spent a couple months second guessing and doubting and wondering. And then eventually I realized how great we are together, how he came into my life at just the right time, what a great partner he is, and how I want to keep him around. And then I knew.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, that's good to know. And I remember that period, now that you mention it, of the second guessing and doubt. Maybe I just need to take my own advice, sit back and let things happen naturally.

    Thanks for reminding me!!!

    ReplyDelete