Part of the reason I moved to a new town was to get out there and see what else the world has to offer instead of sitting home and doing absolutely nothing day in and day out. Fortunately, I have a dear Friend who can help me do just that. Over the holiday weekend, I had the opportunity to meet a few of My Friend’s friends. Though I am really not a people person and I spend most of my time sitting there listening to everyone else’s conversations, I felt fortunate to be included (as opposed to secluded).
I met several people over the weekend. All seemed open to meeting me and friendly. As such, I was stunned to learn of one individual’s comment regarding me. Now, I promise you that My Friend had good reason to tell me this. In venting to a good co-worker and another friend, both stated that this comment is something that they would have kept to themselves and not shared with the person the remark was about. To be quite honest, I am actually glad to know as it tells quite a bit of this person’s character, in my opinion.
The following morning after meeting this individual, whom we’ll call Bob, My Friend received a phone call. Bob was apparently calling to give his stamp of approval regarding me (as if My Friend had asked for or needed this endorsement). Bob’s only concern was that My Friend should consider dropping $5,000-6,000 on me. Insinuating (are you ready for this?) that I need to have my bust surgically enlarged.
Um….WHAT?!?!?! Seriously? Excuse me if I’m taken aback a bit here. At first, I was seriously hurt by this remark. My thought was, “Who in their right mind goes around saying things like that after meeting a person for the first time?!?!?!?! Who would ever say anything like that???!?”
After having some time to mull it over and think about it, I have come to the conclusion that I will not let this bother me. It is pea-brained thinking like this that is killing women and men alike. As a teenager, I starved myself for days upon days to be thin even though I was already naturally thin. Into my early twenties, I continued this same pattern. I was compared by my mother, an alcoholic, that I would never be as skinny as her. And my step-mother who grabbed me by the waist one time and said, “We aren’t our skinny little Jessi anymore, are we?” I have been told that I have a big butt and a small chest. These are the kinds of comments that cause people to stick their finger down their throat, to binge and purge, to look in the mirror and criticize every little imperfection they think they see because the world is telling them that it is in some way a deficiency. People literally kill themselves trying to be perfect and, all the while, those criticizing are the ones who are less than whole, less than perfect. They are lacking love in some way and projecting it onto others. They do not know how to value what is truly beautiful.
I believe in God. I believe God created me exactly how He wanted me. He made no mistakes in creating me or any other person anywhere. He gave me this body and I am charged with taking care of it. I am not charged with altering the physical design that He bestowed upon me.
It has taken me years to come to this place of acceptance and understanding. It has taken effort on my part to stop comparing myself to others, to stop allowing others to compare me, to accept lack of perfection as perfection, to step back away from the mirror and to stop being so stinking picky and harsh on, not only myself, but others too. I am happy with the person that I have become over the years. I do not feel that having a boob job will make me feel more whole as a person nor will that complete the package. I enjoy my, so called, inequities and prefer to say that those are the things make me unique. I refuse to allow one person’s comment to cast a dark, gloomy shadow over my life.
So, Bob, it was a pleasure meeting you. I only hope you can learn something from me as I will continue to be myself when you are around and show you that there is more to a woman than a perfect hour glass shape. Maybe you will figure out what exactly it is you have been missing all this time by chasing your idea of perfection.
